Since the beginning of the year I have been already (as amateur) taking part in 10 squash competions (almost 1 per week as average). Club level, local level and national level.
One thing that I noticed that started to go really bad for me like 4 weeks ago is the desire to fight and win, along with the power to focus. I have started to be really frustrated and worried about this, because these used to be strong points for me. Of course, frustration did not help, but made things worse. I have started to loose matches with people I had a very favorable record.
Now, as I like to question myself until I find the “Why” behind, I’ve started to look for what could be that root cause. I wondered if I am doing something wrong at my coaching sessions, if I am physically tired (due to an average close to 1 hour / day on court since Jan 1st) or anything else.
Then, one day last week, as I was heading to one of these competions I have realized there is no desire to compete that evening inside me. No desire at all. I still went because I was the organiser and more than that, there was nobody else to replace me. But this raised a new question mark that needed answering.
Starting from this I’ve got to the point of realising that actually I kindda feel a sort of squash competions burnout. Competions make me be even more demanding of myself that a normal squash encounter. During competions I strive to be 100% on court, physically and mentally. Especially the latter proved to be too much. Also in the context of increased stress at work these days, squash competions added up. So, instead of squash bring ballance in my life, I went the other way. Pushing with coaching sessions and going to as many competions as possible (almost one per week as average) I have started to lose my joy of playing the game.
My lesson is thought to carefully find the ballance between competions (where indeed is good to play new people) and friendly games where I can relax and enjoy the gane without the pressure of the final result.
Today was great in this direction as I have enjoyed 1 hour of King of the court with one of our best juniors (Radu) and Adi (a guy who started playing 2-3 years before me). One hour of true squash, where of course I wanted to give my best, but it was only about the points, not also about the place on the board.